5): Kemperboyd: This lazy, privileged, wine thief stands in direct contract to the liberal ideals they espouse.

4): TyrannosaurusBataar: This poor, beautiful woman confirms many of the millennial stereotypes that they wish to debunk.

3): Paranoid_Shiksa_Feminista: She goes to grad school, you guise!

2): NYCyclist: This poor, oppressed atheist keeps losing her friends to gods that don't exist (definitely NOT because she's a drama queen)!

1): Ubertrout: This goddamn idiot likes to say goddamn a whole goddamn lot! We should all be allowed to kick him in the nuts once for every word of his goddamn "articles".